Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Home Sweet Home?

I don't quite know what to call this place. I told my Mom we are going home, but I can't put India and home in the same sentence without it feeling weird. Gabe, who was here last time, calls it summer camp. He had the same conversation with his Dad about this being "home" and came to the conclusion, it isn't home. I think I've reached that same conclusion, this isn't home.
I feel like it was just yesterday that I was here doing everything, but obviously it wasn't. It's been four months since everyone here saw me last, and they are shocked by the results. It's such an incredible feeling to walk into a room, but it's impossible to describe to someone else. A couple of the doctors and nurses can tell on my face that there is something different, I'm alive again. They didn't see it last time I was here. My smile is bigger, my laugh is louder, I'm happier, and it's noticeable.
Of course I'm happy to be here, but I miss being home so much. This trip has been a lot harder for me to leave home. Last time it was this trip or nothing and I just didn't care about what was at home anymore, but now that I'm healthier it's hard to leave my pets, friends, family, and my everyday routines. I know this trip will be good, and I'm excited for whatever results I may get, but I have no expectations for anything. We begin our six weeks today.